


icarus

by ediblemomo (junnir)



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-01 01:45:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12694491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junnir/pseuds/ediblemomo
Summary: it comes in waves.





	icarus

it comes in waves.

 

=

 

(the first time wasn’t very different from the last.)

 

the first time they met, she had just come out of a relationship that lasted far longer than she would like to admit. she figured she should have walked away before it spiralled out of control and reduced her to nothing more than what was now left of her (a carcass of nothing but pity for herself and a slight disdain for anything romantic), but when did walking away come easy for a hopeless romantic like her?

 

whereas _she_ had just come out of the sun – or at least, it looked and felt that way to her. she carried with her a smile that bedazzled millions and was probably worth that much in dollars too; her voice a melody to the ears that she could never get sick of (not even during those moments where her pitch got noticeably and almost unbearably higher out of excitement); her person a fragment of a star (that was the sun) that came crashing into her life. she brought with her sunshine and warmth and while she might have just been a fragment of a star, she made her feel complete again.

 

(later, she would come to find out that this girl was warm to the touch, too – her skin felt burning under her fingers and later became her preferred source of warmth during the coldest winters.)

 

falling in love with her was easy because it wasn’t much of falling. it was more of embracing the comet that came crashing and letting her invade every part of your life as much as she could. she had a midas touch that made everything she touched magically become better, perhaps by inflicting a little bit of her into everything that was previously insignificant to her.

 

life with her was easy and she found herself wishing that life with her could go on forever. she made her impossibly happy and she became someone she couldn’t live without, rather than someone she just wanted to live with. this was what the girl who came out of the sun did to her; instead of burning into ashes what was left of her life, she and the sunshine and warmth she embodied made her feel alive again.

 

the girl who came out of the sun, minatozaki sana, was the last strand of hope for the hopeless romantic, hirai momo.

 

=

 

_she sits by the shore and throws rocks in the sea. they skip over the peaceful waters and create ripples that reminded her too much of her presence (or at least what used to be)._

falling out of love was hard because it wasn’t much of falling. it was more of embracing the fact that she could never fall out of love with her, not after everything she had done and brought to her life. she came to realise later that it was less of not being able to fall out of love with her and more of her not wanting to. and because everything in her life now had a little bit of her in it, she did her best to escape to the places where there was no ‘her’ to be reminded of – to the nights where the sun did not hang in the sky above her, just for a few hours of solitude and the possibility of feeling okay again.

 

but it was also during the nights when she craved for her touch, for her warmth, for her sunshine, for _her_ , and that was why she decided to escape to the sea, where if she hoped hard enough she could probably disappear beneath the surface and never face the sun again.

 

life without her was hard and she found herself _still_ wishing that life with her could go on forever. for every ounce of happiness she brought to her life, she felt the pain in the same amount, except at ten times or a million times of that intensity. living without the girl she couldn’t live without made every day that much harder to get by. but this was probably what it felt like to have flown too close to the sun and have what was left of her life burn to ashes.

 

the last time they met, she had just come out of a relationship – _their_ relationship – and all she could do was hopelessly stand by the doorway as she watched the other girl pack up what was left of her belongings, stowing them away gently and meticulously into a box that she hoped she could throw her feelings into as well.

 

and _she_ had avoided any possible contact with her, from eye contact to the physical kind, only opening her mouth to greet her with a simple ‘hey’. gone was the smile that bedazzled millions and the voice that tuned out all the rest (even her greeting sounded different). but she was still a fragment of a star; except this time, she took with her a fragment of the girl’s heart too.

 

_she throws more rocks into the sea and this time, they don’t skip over the waters. instead, they sink, and at the back of her mind she wonders how it would feel like to sink along with them._

 

_she slides off her sandals and walks towards the ocean. the sun is setting and night will eventually come. but before it does, before she starts to crave for what she will never get to have again, she decides to sink beneath the surface, letting what was left of the sun disappear in a cascade over her._

(the first time wasn’t very different from the last.)

 

=

 

if only she knew that it goes in waves too.

**Author's Note:**

> i write when i'm stressed so,,,,
> 
> not quite sure what this is tho
> 
> might delete it
> 
> @ediblemomo on twt
> 
> p.s. i'm actually really sick of samo angst (my girls deserve happiness) but... they're perfect for angst...


End file.
